Like many parents I sent my two back to school this morning.
But this year was different.
This year they made their own lunch, packed their school bags with what they thought they’d need and chose their own Back to School outfit out from among clothes they’ve had for more than a week.
I enabled them where I could – making sure we had lunch-worthy items in the house and *suggesting* they might want to wear a hoodie along with their shorts but other than that they were on their own.
I didn’t go to the school this morning. I don’t know who their teachers will be.
It’s not by chance.
It’s all part of our calculated plan to help them recognize their own strengths.
Over the last few years I’ve watched these boys grow through their travel experiences. I’ve seen them hold their own in discussions with adults about political issues of the day, learn how to use chopsticks like champs, overcome picky eating and stand up to bullies.
Free from the confines of what their peers might think, they stepped outside what was expected of them and began to become the individuals that they are.
I want that to continue but since our return I’ve struggled to continue to give them the same kinds of opportunities to bolster their resilience, confidence and self-sufficiency in the face of “what the other kids do” and well-meaning (but judgmental) parents who have set ideas about how I should raise my kids.
As time goes on, it was inevitable that we’d all start to slip a little in our commitment to living outside the box. It has become easier to accept the birthday party invitations and suggestions we sign away our evenings to one sport or another. I continue to try to resist but, like a salmon swimming upstream, there are times when the struggle feels lonely and unrewarding and hard.
But watching my two boys – ahem *young men* – pack themselves up and head off to school on their own this morning without Ish or myself playing chaperone, without any questions about how they’ll figure things out when they get there, without anything but smiles and anticipation, reminded me of who they’ve become over the last few years.
They are strong, confident boys who have tackled the world.
Back to school? No problem.