My husband was a handsome man.
A morning kiss felt like satin on my skin until sometime in mid-October when he started the “test runs”. And now his chiseled beacon is a sandpapery mess.
His heart was in the right place. In an effort to raise awareness for Prostate Cancer – a disease that has touched both our lives – he wanted to join thousands of others in growing a mustache for the month of November.
I fully support the cause. In fact, raising money for different organizations is one of the things we’ve been discussing in preparation for our round the world family trip. And teaching our kids that small things done at home can make a big difference when lots of people do them, is a lesson we both support.
The problem? His is not a mustache-wearing face. Never has been.
The pain that his Mo has inflicted on our family is measurable. The kids are tentative when they lean in for a goodnight nuzzle, always aware that one wrong move could leave them scarred for life. I alternate between trying not to make eye contact (who can talk to a man who looks like an over tanned cross between Telly Savalas and Burt Reynolds?) and trying not to offend the Mo (if that thing jumped off his face and attacked, I wouldn’t have a chance.)
Worst of all, I think he likes his Mo.
I’ve caught him stroking it in the mirror, testing smiles, grooming it with care and loudly contemplating whether this is a look he should keep going past the end of the month. (noooooooooo!)
And so, in these last few days of Movember, I have no choice but to pull out the big guns.
If I do not see a complete removal of fur from face by Midnight on Nov. 30, I will unveil my December campaign.
And it won’t be pretty.
If you’d like to donate to the “Remove the Mo” campaign, visit Ish’s page at http://ca.movember.com/mospace/1294690 . If you’ve got some ideas on how I can survive the next ten days, let me know below.
And if, by some stroke of luck you’ve got a handsome husband who wears his mustache well, let me know that too. It might help to know there’s hope out there.