About a week ago in California, icon and American music legend Whitney Houston died. Hers was a life ravaged by addiction and abuse. It will be picked apart by critics and journalists more practiced than I and I’ll leave them to it. Suffice it to say no one should die at 48, it is sad on so many levels that it happened and I hope she has finally found peace.
What it isn’t? Life changing.
Not here anyway.
The streets of old Varanasi
In Varanasi, India no one is waving her posters or quoting her lyrics. No one is is screaming her name or even humming her songs. Not one maimed beggar or incense waving priest asked me, “If I’d heard.”
If not for my connection to Twitter, Facebook and friends back home, her death might’ve gone completely unnoticed by me for a few days more.
As it was I got the news through an email from a friend who only mentioned the fact in passing and the original focus of her email was so much more personal and important to me that it never occurred to me to dig deeper. For hours I forgot about it until a tweet crossed my screen and I remembered and then, because I’ve lived years of an Entertainment Tonight infused, CNN updated and TMZ inundated life I caught myself starting to do what we do – tell someone. The kids don’t know her so I looked up from my phone and started to mention it to Ish and our guide but I stopped.
The scene around me stole my attention instead.
Sunset on the Ganges
We are in Varanasi. Although it is one of the country’s most visited spots, Varanasi is not the hip and trendy Delhi or reborn Mumbai. It is not the romantic Rajasthan. It is not the tropical Kerala. Varanasi is hard. It is gritty and dirty and real.
People live all aspects of their lives here on the streets. They believe in the final salvation offered by the river Ganges and that their city was created on a God’s trident. When you visit you have no choice but to be present; pulling the kids out of the path of oncoming traffic, delicately stepping around piles of cow dung, offering a namaste or hasty “No Thanks” in Hindi to suggestions you buy an elongated Ghandi figurine or kama sutra emblazoned bowl.
The streets of Varanasi
Poverty and spirituality run hand and hand in this part of India. Hindus dominate but Muslims and Christians are here too. In neighbouring Sarnath you’ll find the intriguing and intricate Jain temples but Buddhism is king. It is here, they say, that Buddha – the original one – delivered his first sermon to five disciples. The town is a pilgrimage site for devotees and the feelings of peace are palpable the moment you enter.
Sarnath
There are plenty of the familiar Western distractions here as well. Plywood shop stalls boast the same coca cola ad - a long-haired Indian girl, her head tilted just far enough to sip from the bottle in her hand – on shopfront after shopfront. Her cosmo clothes and airbrushed skin stand in sharp contrast to the people wandering in and out of the shop or pulling Oxen out front but no one seems to notice.
But above all it is India itself that will keep your attention: Shopkeepers able to call out to you in English, Spanish, Italian and French with the suggestion that you should come in to their shop, “Just looking madame. No cost for that.”
And it doesnt end at sundown. We sat on the River Ganges and watched the living continue into the night.
Evening prayer service on the Ganges
We saw a half dozen cremation fires light up the sky; the smoke billowing and spilling the secrets of those in mourning. We saw dead dogs that no worshipper seemed to notice and temples lit by candles and priests in epiphany. We saw elderly women fall to their knees in worship and use the walls to assist them in the ascent. We heard the calls coming from rows of beggars awaiting the nightly influx of tourists who give out rupees in the 10s and 20s as opposed to the thrifty ones and twos of well seasoned locals. We saw boys jumping from boat to boat offering up tiny candles and we watched how when lit they floated dutifully along the water carrying the prayers of the sender out to sea.
We saw many things, but no Whitney.
It seems that the high drama, non-stop attention that accompanies the death of a celebrity is truly a North American construct.
Today we took a tour at the Taj Mahal. We took some photos and some jump shots.
I didn't want to drop the Taj Mahal on the people
The Taj Mahal was being built for 26 years. It was completed In 1648 and people made the Taj Mahal by hand!
Did you know that the Taj Mahal was a tomb? The emperor built it for his wife and he was going to build another one for himself in black but he died in 1666.
The Taj Mahal
Did you know that when they built the Taj Mahal they made the pillars on the four corners lean out so that if they fell they wouldn’t fall on the main structure?
This is the Taj Mahal. See the pillars?
Did you know that the design on the building is “inlay.” That means that they carved into the marble and put colourful stones in for decoration – like a puzzle.
The white is the marble. The green, orange and red are the coloured stones. cool huh?
We would recommend a visit to every single tourist – unless you already saw it.
This is a trip that has been full of incredible moments. We stood on the Great Wall of China. We went for a treasure hunt around the Sydney Opera House. We jumped with the Masai in Kenya. We sat atop ostriches (or watched it happen )and elephants and horses and camels. We had high tea in the desert and floated on the River Ganges in India.Those moments and so many more are easily accessed in our recent memories, through our collective recall (“Hey what was the name of that guy we met who tried to tell me the future?”) and, for now, among the 50,000 plus photos on our hard drives.
Despite all of that, when I stepped out and saw the Taj Mahal, the sheer beauty of the white marble marvel stunned me. I had expected feelings of respect and appreciation but not the goosebumps that climbed up from my fingertips. We spent way longer than I expected exploring the grounds, discussing the technical prowess that would be necessary to not only build it, but allow it to stand and shine for so long.
The Taj Mahal
And while I would’ve been happy to sit in quiet contemplation of the gorgeous structure, the boys were all about the open space. With a surprising lack of crowds they could run and jump to their heart’s delight – a rarity on a trip where mom is often cautioning about being too close to the edge of this or that precipice.
Luckily our guide for Agra was a former teacher. Rajeev was as excited to teach them about the history and culture as he was to show them some great photo tricks. In his enthusiasm they found the perfect partner, especially when he took hold of the camera for the mandatory fun pictures that we’ll treasure.
Here are a few of our favourites:
The old holding up the building effect was popular….
Cam carrying the Taj Mahal
Ish's turn
There was the classic jump shot…
Getting ready for the jump shot
Jumping Cam
Jumping Ethan!
There goes Ish
Got me too
And then the mini-me attempts…
Always supportive Ish
Mom in the palm of thier hands
And the always popular through the key hole effect…
View through the lattice at the rear of the Taj
There are a ton of “photographers” in the park who will offer to take these or similar shots for a fee. Skip them. Book Rajeev as your tour guide instead. You’ll get the pictures plus the insights of a truly incredible guide who understands that the kids want to run as much as they want to learn.
Growing up it was always said that men are not supposed to cry: A real man does not show his emotions.
Over the last six months my boys have cried on numerous occasions. It has frustrated me because I couldn’t understand why they were so emotional. Today is day 225 and I finally figured it out.
It’s simple: That’s what human being do to show emotions.
They laugh, smile and even cry. When my boys are smiling and laughing I have no issues but when they are angry or sad and the tears come I begin to feel that I must take control of the situation.
Big laughs in China
That ends today. I’m making myself a promise that I will try to stop taking control of my kids’ emotions. I will stop being an emotional helicopter parent and let them sort out their emotions the best way they can because that’s what people do.
Sitting on a flight something that happens that has happened a lot on this trip. I’m watching the boys watch the movies “Puss & Boots” and “Tron”, both are laughing uncontrollably.
This doesn't bother me. I'm vowing to not let the tears matter either.
Funny enough the moment has left me struggling to hold back tears and my eyes are filled with water. I look at my oldest and he reaches out to hold my hand because he can see the tears in my eyes.
At 9 years old he knows better than I do.
This could only happen here, on this trip where we have the time to sit and watch and learn. I will never second guess this year because this have been the best six months of my life. It has truly offered up the best life lessons that the boys (and their parents) will ever experience.
The moments we are sharing together demand big emotions
I hope they will remember the 365 days that we are spending together with laughter, smiles, anger and sadness and they will realize that not only is it alright to cry, but that real men do it too.
It’s been 223 days, 18 countries and somehow – in what feels like a blink of an eye – we are already looking at the last third (gasp!) of our trip around the world.
Much of what remains to be seen is unsettled. We planned it this way. We wanted to have the freedom to choose depending on how we were feeling about the trip at this point. What places would be tugging at us to visit at this mark? How did we want this story to end?
Now that we’re in the moment the questions remain.
What I do know is that the India leg of our trip will take a total of 6 weeks. We’ve been working with Liberty India to map out an itinerary that lets us see as much of the country’s highlights as possible while leaving us room to make real connections in this country.
Two weeks into the visit I can tell you that they are very good at doing just that. What they’ve put together so far has been incredible.
I’m going to share parts of our route with you below so you have a sense of where we are and where we are going over the next four weeks. I’d love if you’d weigh in with your thoughts, comments, tips or suggestions.
Where we’ve been: Rajasthan
Mumbai, Udaipur, Jodhpur, The Great Thar Desert, Jaisalmer, Bikaner, Samode, Jaipur.
Coming up:
Ranthambore – in search of tigers
Bharatpur – exploring the Fatehpur Sikri described as “an epic poem in red sandstone”
Agra – The Taj Mahal and more
Train to Jhansi, Varanasi and the River Ganges
Delhi – Old and New
Amritsar – The Golden Temple
Head south to Cochin and the backwaters then north to Goa and Mumbai.
And once we’ve finished in India? Dubai.
I promise to keep you posted on what comes after that. Once we know, you’ll be the first to know.
A few days ago Ethan and I went out into the desert in India.
Driving the Dunes
We rode in this cool buggy. It went up hills and then we went down really big hills. It reminded me of the Rock’n roller coaster in Disney. My mom was scared.
After we got up on two camels. It was like getting on another ride at Disney – The Tower of Terror. At least when it was going down it felt like that.
Getting up
When we were walking in the desert my mom was Terrified!!! It felt bumpy but I wasn’t scared.
I asked if the camel could run. The man said yes and he took me for a ride.
Running on the camel
When we were in the desert I got off and took some photos of it then I went back on again and then it ran sooo fast I bumped my butt on the camel!
I liked the ride. I would rate it a 5 out of 5.
WE DID IT
Then we went to have some hot chocolate and snacks in the desert. It was awesome.
My mom says: Thanks to Samsara luxury resort and Suryagarh for organizing our great adventure.
Is it the waving palm trees announcing your arrival to Mumbai?
The pink palaces of Jodhpur?
View of the fort from a room at the Hotel Raas
The golden sands of Jaisalmer?
Those gorgeous sari colours that get caught in the breeze?
Ladies outside an Udaipur temple
Or does India bring other things to mind: Dirty streets. Begging Children. Delhi Belly. Slumdogs.
Before we got here we were braced for more of the latter than the former. My knowledge of this country wasn’t as a journalist or a researcher or a traveler it was as a consumer– of movies and television.
I knew all about the Bollywood Glam and the IT outsourcing and the Slums of Mumbai. I knew of Gandhi and poverty and that Ayurveda had its roots here. And that’s about it.
I’m not proud of that fact, but it’s the truth and I share it with you because I know that many of you know only that much too. That the fear of what might be waiting here has stopped you from visiting and that, my friends, would be a shame.
Because in seven days I’ve already learned so much about this place.
Village shephards
I have Liberty Travel to thank for that. He and the team at Liberty took my desire to understand this country seriously and set out an itinerary that will have me criss-cross it over the next six weeks exposing me to its history and beauty.
Exploring elephant carriages with our guide in Jodhpur
I have only been in Rajasthan so far but already I’ve fallen in love with the ways of the Maharajahs and those who fought against Britain’s colonization. I’ve tasted teas I’ll need to take home and salivated over the decor of locally run hotels. I’ve seen 5-star luxe in completely Indian owned and operated hotels that would match and surpass many of the properties I’ve visited in other so called first-world countries.
Learning from Arvind our guide in Udaipur
I’ve seen immaculately kept homes in the middle of the dessert. I’ve watched people work harder than they should for less than they deserve. I’ve been offered chai tea from people who can’t afford to do so.
I’ve met people who I knew within hours would be friends for years to come, developed an entirely new understanding of hospitality and continuously nurtured a dangerous craving for Laal Maas and Naan.
And I’ve done it with my children in tow.
Sharing a moment with famous Drury rug weavers in a village outside Jodhpur who literally gave up their turbans for the boys
Watching, learning and immersing themselves in what is just another day in their lives; never once thinking that there is anything odd or different about a man who drapes cloth around his head or a woman who offers them a bindi when they enter.
Bindi Welcome to Hotel Raas in Jodhpur
For my boys this time in India is simply more adventure in a year of adventures. And if it means that when they are on the cusp of 40 and asked what they think of when they think of India and they can only remember how welcome they felt here and how beautifully they’ve been treated, then this visit has already been a success.
If you’ve been following our trip since the beginning, you know two things:
1. We are having the family trip of a lifetime
2. I’m passionate about you having one too
Cruising past the Taj Summer Palace
This trip has exposed us to some mind-blowing experiences which have also allowed me to continue my role as a travel writer, columnist and correspondent. I’ve traveled further than ever before and been able to experience these places through the eyes, ears and smiles of my children and to share them with audiences through articles in newspapers and magazines and interviews on Television and Radio.
The view from Jagmandir
Over the last few months I’ve also worked with great products and companies that I feel good about. One of those is the Four Seasons resorts. The Canadian company invited me to stop in and see hotels in several destinations and many of my stories from those visits have appeared on their blog
In Mumbai, we chose the Four Seasons again.
Kiteflying with the Four Seasons Mumbai
We spent our first two nights with them because we wanted to stay somewhere comfortable and familiar after more than 24 hours of flight and layover time from Tanzania. As soon as we arrived I knew it was the right decision. They gave us a comfy room (read: gorgeous) and soft beds (read: luscious) but then they went a step further and transformed our short time in Mumbai (48 hours) into a magical introduction to India.
Mumbai sunset
You’ll be able to read all about various parts of the stay here and on the Four Seasons site in the months to come (sooner if you’ve been following me on twitter or Facebook ) but suffice it to say that there is more to Mumbai then what you’ve seen in Slumdog Millionaire or read in Eat, Pray, Love. This country is as vast and complicated as its history and landscapes. Mumbai with its sky-high scrapers and tin-roofed slums only tells a part of the story and over the next six weeks we’ll explore a lot more of that city (and many others) and share it with you.
The pomp of age old palaces remain
What I will tell you now, four days into our visit to India, is that if you only take one thing away from our visit here it should be this: You need to see this for yourself.
The first of many Hindu temples
This is a country unlike anything I imagined. The history runs deep. The culture and the way it ebbs and flows as you move from one state to another is unlike anything I’ve seen elsewhere so far. The colours are indescribable and the people are incredibly kind.
Everything is beautiful here
Case in point? Four weeks ago I wasn’t sure where to begin. We knew the key places we wanted to visit and thought we’d head for the Golden Triangle. We met an Indian family from the UK who was on vacation in Mombasa (stay with me…) at the same time we were there. We chatted, hit it off and they offered to help us plan the trip – right there by the pool. Then they took it a step further. They had a “dear family friend in Delhi who they’d put us in touch with” and they did. He in turn put us in touch with Liberty India and three weeks later I’m sitting in India four days into a trip that has gone from memorable to magical with their help.
Now our itinerary will take us far beyond the Golden Triangle. We’ll step into palaces and farmers’ homes. We’ll eat in the best restaurants and local kitchens and even try our hand at making a dish or two ourselves. We’ll see the beaches and the desert. And we’ll share it all with you.
Laundry never looked so appealing
Over the next few weeks I’ll introduce you to palaces, people and properties that I knew nothing about before leaving home. I’ll have the benefit of Liberty’s insider knowledge to lean on and my kids’ reactions to offer. India is our 18th country in 7 months; we should be jaded by now. Instead we’re finding new energy in a destination that promises to be one of the most interesting legs of our trip.
If you’ve been piqued by our trip this far. Wait until you see what India brings.
It’s been five weeks on this amazing continent and I’m so proud that we did it as a family. As with most of the travels we’ve done so far, having the kids along with us has monumentally increased the value of the trip.
E taking it all in
I’ve watched them marvel at the culture and take their turn herding cows with Masai warriors (see the video below). I’ve watched them share with the people, learn from history, taste the food, broaden their smiles and so much more.
Boys gone wild
In some ways Africa has been disappointing. I had such high hopes of making a difference here but three attempts to secure volunteer placements didn’t come to pass and now I’m leaving the continent closest to my personal heritage having had little impact on it. For me, that’s heartbreaking.
But that isn’t to say that Africa didn’t give me more than I gave it. It delivered in spades.
In South Africa I watched the boys develop an understanding of the sacrifices required when you believe in something and saw firsthand how the beauty of a place can leave even two chatty kids speechless.
The boys greet a "wired" version of a hero
In Namibia they learned about the animals on this planet and the people who are committed to keeping them in the wild. They learned that their ancestors were intelligent human beings who were some of the first people on this planet and saw that they left the cave drawings to prove it.
Ancient Cave Etchings in Twyfelfontein
In Kenya, they learned that strangers can become fast friends, that their mother’s appetite for African art is only matched by her love of Hashimi’s Tandoori chicken and that there are friends you make in life who despite distance or time will always feel like family.
Friends who feel like family
And of course there were more animals to be blown away by.
Lions upon lions in the Masai Mara
And in Tanzania they learned how language doesn’t have to be a barrier to understanding, how knowing only a few words can change your day and how some things are simply too heartbreaking to explain at all.
Slave Market Memorial Zanzibar
We’re leaving Africa as better people. We gave little here and I’m not proud of that. But we’ll be back and better equipped and prepared to do more.
Every city has its moment; that time when after a few days you penetrate the external veneer and make a real connection with the locals. We’ve found it in every city we’ve visited even the ones where we thought we had no chance of ever breaking through. The days ahead of that breakthrough can be tough. In Tanzania, you’re negotiating cab fares with drivers who aren’t sure what to make of the black family that can’t speak Swahili, you’re trying to figure out the local customs around meal times, you’re hoping this isn’t the place where the breakthrough doesn’t happen.
Waiting for that delicious chicken at Jambo Inn
Our breakthrough day in Dar was day 3. After a late lunch at Jambo Inn ( tandoori chicken we never tired of) and the thrill of meeting not one but three Canadians over our meal. We were chatting with one of our new friends Fimo Mitchell as we started the slow walk back to our apartment in search of a good spot to grab a snapshot or two.
Grabbing a shot with our newest friend Fimo Mitchell
When we happened on a group of men playing checkers we stopped to take a look. They looked up as we approached, muttered some words in Swahili and went back to an intense match. We stood on the sidelines and watched.
A checker board painted on cloth and bottle cap pieces but it did the job.
Then we noticed Ethan was making his way further in and watching intensely. Could he play?
Watching and waiting and hoping for a turn
We motioned through hand gestures and way too loud English what he was wondering and to our surprise one of the men gave up his chair!
What followed was a moment none of us will soon forget.
A painted cloth board, two dozen bottle caps, a dozen grown men and us on a street in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania. It’s amazing what a shared experience can do.
Not sure where one ends and the other begins and grateful for that
Six months after leaving home my sons are closer than ever. At ages 7 and 9 they have no sense of personal space or boundaries with each other. They are each others limbs and whether tumbling in the grass or playing in the pool or now, hovered over my iphone, a tangle of arms and legs in an airport lounge, they are blissfully unaware that they are anything less than the combination of each other.
Taste testing their chocolate creations in Australia on Hayman Island
Every day we are together on this trip the truth of how intimately connected their lives on this planet will always be becomes clear. They are the most beautiful mix of their parents’ love and eyelashes and finger nails and perspectives. They have inside jokes that no one will ever understand more than each other. For now they hold conversations between themselves that cause us adults to take pause and shake our head. In a few years those conversations will become whispers behind closed doors, locking us out and making their bond even closer. They will be each others best historian and, I hope, each others most reliable ally.
Vietnam beach boys
They finish each others sentences and know exactly which buttons to push to get the other happy, upset or giggling.
I know there will come a day when they push each other a little further away. I recognize they will need to assert their individuality and be their own people. But that day is not today.
exploring angkor wat
Nope, today they are each others BFF and momentary nemesis and BFF again. And they are ours. Unbelievably, undeniably ours. We are so incredibly lucky.
February
We spend the entire month of February in India. Wrapping up our visits to Rajasthan and heading out to stops in Agra, Varanassi, Amritsar and more before heading south for warmer climes in Goa and Cochin.
As it was I got the news through an email from a friend who only mentioned the fact in passing and the original focus of her email was so much more personal and important to me that it never occurred to me to dig deeper. For hours I forgot about it until a tweet crossed my screen and I remembered and then, because I’ve lived years of an Entertainment Tonight infused, CNN updated and TMZ inundated life I caught myself starting to do what we do – tell someone. The kids don’t know her so I looked up from my phone and started to mention it to Ish and our guide but I stopped.
We saw many things, but no Whitney.
)and elephants and horses and 
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